Suppression
by Alexgrace167
Summary: Distracted by his feelings for John, Sherlock fails a case and turns to alcohol to suppress his emotions. (First fanfic, reviews and critiques will be greatly appreciated!)
1. Chapter 1

Sherlock Holmes has never failed a case, but this was a rare occasion. Usually missing persons cases were a breeze, but this kidnapper left absolutely no trace. The victims were young girls ranging from 7 to 9 years of age. Their parents never heard nor saw the kidnapper. This man or woman was obviously clever considering there was almost always at least one clue to go off of.

"Looks like you're losing your touch Sherlock." Anderson said with a smirk.

"Oh shut up!" Sherlock snapped.

Sherlock would never admit it, but he was starting to wonder If he really was losing his touch. Lately he was having issues with his deductions, his brilliant mind hadn't been as sharp. He wondered if maybe he was distracted and maybe if it could be his growing feelings for his flat mate over the months they've lived together.

Sherlock's intellect was all he had, really. Well that and John, but his intelligence was another thing. He took massive amounts of pride in his intelligence, and to think it was slipping away from him was almost maddening. To think John was the reason for this problem was even more maddening.

After several minutes of getting nowhere with the case, Sherlock and John left Lestrade's office.

"We're taking separate cabs." Sherlock said coldly.

"Is everything alright?" John asked.

"Yes." Sherlock said as he walked ahead of John.

John knew he was lying, he always knew. This time he just assumed Sherlock was ticked off that he was outsmarted for once. Which was true but there was more that was going on inside Sherlock's mind that he wasn't aware of.

Sherlock stopped the taxi in front of small pub. It wasn't the classiest place but he wanted to be sure he wouldn't see anyone he knew so he didn't have to make boring, meaningless conversation.

The pub was nearly vacant, with just a few people in a corner playing cards. It reeked of cigarette smoke and sweat. He was relieved to see no one he knew. He sat down quietly at the bar and ordered pint after pint.

An hour later Sherlock stumbled out of the pub, extremely drunk. He felt the cold London air on his face, which slightly brought him back to reality.

After being ignored by numerous cabs because of his current state, he finally got one take him back to Baker street. The ride was a little over an hour long.

Sherlock paid the cabbie and slowly got out of the car. He un gracefully staggered up the stairs into the living room. John had his face buried in one of his boring novels.

"Where have you been? I texted you five times." John said looking up from his book obviously irritated.

Sherlock didn't even notice John had texted him when he was at the pub, making his mood worse. Sherlock always noticed when he had received a text.

"Why do you care?" Sherlock slurred, sounding like a bratty teenager.

"You're drunk."

"Obviously." Sherlock said.

"Is this because of the case?" John asked.

"No." Sherlock lied.

"I know when you're lying to me Sherlock! I'm not as stupid as you make me out to be." John snapped.

Sherlock ignored John and flopped down onto the sofa.

"So you're going to ignore me now?" John said.

"What is there to say John?" Sherlock asked.

He knew there things to say, but he had no interest in discussing them now.

"Well I'm pretty confused right now. You rarely drink, and when you do you never get full on drunk. So why now?" John asked.

"It's none of your concern." Sherlock said flatly.

"You're fucking ridiculous sometimes, you know that?" John yelled.

"I'm going to Sarah's." He stated. Sounding a bit more calm. But still agitated.

Sherlock didn't respond knowing there was no point in arguing. He knew John needed to cool off and would be back in the morning like he always was after one of their many rows.

Sherlock despised Sarah though. Not because she was boring, but because she got touch, kiss and sleep with John. His John. The thought sickened Sherlock.

Eventually the alcohol in his system caught up with him and he drifted off to sleep for the first time in God knows how long.


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock awoke to light filtering through the curtains of 221b. His head pounding from last night's occurrence. He looked at his phone disappointed seeing that John hadn't texted him.

His mind snapped back to his previous problem. Sherlock's thoughts wandered and he began to entertain the thought that perhaps his unresolved and unspoken feelings for John may be causing his brain to not function as efficiently as it did before. Sherlock felt ashamed that something so sentimental could imbalance his thought process.

He sent John a text.

I'm sorry. SH

No you're not. But I'm on my way home. JW

Sherlock laid his phone on his lap, with a small frown.

For the first time Sherlock was genuinely sorry for his behavior. He wished John believed him when he apologized. If it were anyone else, he would not be apologetic in the slightest. But this was John, the only person who really meant anything to him, the only person he truly cared for.

John arrived back at the flat, setting a handful of groceries on the counter, making sure not to knock over any of Sherlock's experiments.

Not acknowledging Sherlock's presence he sat in his chair and opened up his laptop.

"John." Sherlock said in a serious tone.

"Hmm?" John said not looking up.

"Oddly, I actually am sorry." Sherlock said.

"No need to lie, Sherlock." John said, still gazing into his laptop screen.

"I thought you could tell when I'm lying." Sherlock stated.

"I can." John said.

"Listen to me John, I really do apologize. I assume the reason you were upset last night was because I was intoxicated and you're sister is an alcoholic.. Well you see the correlation." Sherlock said awkwardly.

"Plus I was being a complete git I suppose." Sherlock added.

"Brilliant deductions." John said sarcastically.

"John... in all honestly I was attempting to suppress my emotions by using alcohol. I wasn't even fully aware I possessed them until recently." Sherlock admitted.

"Why would you try to do that?" John asked.

"Because I did not won't any distractions from my work." Sherlock said.

"You do realize that's really stupid right?" John asked.

Sherlock responded with a glare.

"I just wish sometimes you would tell me things. I like to know what's going on in your head, and I hate to see you distraught. I also hate to see you drinking for the wrong reasons." John said sounding less angry.

"And why is that John?" Sherlock asked a bit confused by the sentiment he was detecting.

"Because I care about you, idiot. Whether or not you feel the same." John said shyly.

Sherlock's face grew warm and he felt an strange sensation in his stomach. Something he's never felt before. Maybe these kinds of emotions weren't so awful, he thought.

He knew he might regret his next action, but he couldn't keep pushing aside his feelings for John.

Sherlock slowly reached his arm out to John and felt the warmth of his rough hands. Gently brushing his index finger against them.

John looked at Sherlock shocked, but his expression soon faded into a smile.

No words were spoken between the two men, and no words needed to be. In that brief, tender moment, everything was perfect. Just the two of them, feeling each other's soft touch.

Hands soon parted and contact was regained through a gentle kiss. John's hands cupped Sherlock's smooth, pale face, cheeks now tinted a light pink shade.

Their lips parted slowly and foreheads were now pressed against each other's. The silence was broken with quiet giggling from both of the men.

"Do you know how long I've waited to do that?" John said grinning.

"How long?" Sherlock said looking down smiling.

"Since the beginning." John said sheepishly.

"Yes, It was quite obvious you were flirting with me at Angelo's." Sherlock said teasing.

"Ah that reminds me, dinner?" John asked.

"It's a date then." Sherlock said as he took John's hands and intertwined their fingers.

Sherlock stopped for a moment.

"John, one more thing. What happened to you not being gay?" Sherlock said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not. You're just the only exception." John said staring up into Sherlock's icy blue eyes.

For the first time in Sherlock's life he felt love for another person. Of course he loved Mycroft despite his annoying tendencies, but he love him in a different way, he adored John. Sherlock would do anything for him, and he knows John would do the same for Sherlock.


End file.
